giving up

why is giving up the only option i have when things don't go right? maybe i've never been strong at all. it was all just an illusion; lies that i tell myself to make me feel better. life puts me through a lot of bullshit and i just can't handle it all. i hate feeling so helpless and hopeless. i don't know how to pick myself up. giving up would be easier -- saves me all the trouble of getting up and going through the same shits all over again. i don't know. i'm still stuck in the middle. i will always be here, thinking of moving up or going down, left or right. nothing could save me right now.

Nothing’s going right; eveything’s going downhill. It’s catching up with me; I can feel it behind my back. I’m too scared to end it, yet too scared to go on. I’m hanging in the middle of nothingness, crying, hoping for salvation. I find no point in doing anything. Everything hurts on the inside. I’m drowning in my loneliness. One hand’s up, seeking for your help, yet no one seems to see me. No one seems to hear me. No one seems to feel me. I am nothing. I am not going right. Just let me drown this time, perhaps, this would be better. It’s beside me now, embracing me, telling me it will not be alright. I’m always going to be in the middle, hanging to whatever piece of hope I could get. 

just this. okay. it helped me a lot.

if you're suicidal, thinking of self-harm and similar things, go read this okay http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html

if you're james dean, i'm audrey hepburn

as long as you're here with me, i know i'll be okay 

life's been hard on me for the past few months. it goes up, it goes down; sometimes, one lasts longer than the other. but the pleasant thought of you, never giving up on me, is what keeps me going c: you never gave up on me when i almost gave up on myself. i'll never forget that day, my dear c: whenever i feel down, just the thought of you is enough to make me feel okay. i love you, dear, and i can't wait to spend forever with you because then, i would feel alright every single day c: they say that love is forever, your forever is all that i need <3

fitting in

why do we need to fit in?
why do we feel like we need to belong to something?
i believe we can do fine on our own, but perhaps it's the jealousy that we feel when we see other people in groups that makes you realize of your loneliness.
thus, that created the sense of belongingness. we don't feel our existence is justified until we belong to a certain group.
but if we just can't fit in into this group, it's not enough reason to be sad and engage into self-pity because a person can be awesome on their own. you can do great things without other people's help. you are valuable. you are important.
screw whoever said that we should belong to something in order to feel good about ourselves, because at the end of the day, it's just ourselves whom we trust and depend our happiness, and not anybody else.