i remember all the feelings and the day they stopped

He was someone I never expected to like, nor fall in "love" with. It just all happened so suddenly when he held my hand and then sparks flew. 

Prior to that, we were just friends/classmates. Then on that day, we were huddled in a circle with other friends and reviewing for an exam. We were seated next to each other, our hands brushing a little whenever a slight movement was done. I do not know if that was intentional (by him) or what, but anyway, we ended up holding each other's hands. If my memory doesn't fail me, it was him who initiated it. Of course, as a thirteen-year-old, I was kind of surprised, especially because he was the first guy to hold my hand. 

After that incident, we started to become closer friends. He would always sit beside me during breaks and hold hands and do cheesy stuffs. We never kissed, though he kissed me once on the head, and that was it. At that moment, I could say that I "love" him, and vice versa. But damn, we were both thirteen-year-olds, okay? And I didn't consider him as my boyfriend because there was no really formalities among that. Maybe I should ask him now that we are older. Haha. Anyway, all of those things happen a few weeks before the end of classes. And the bad news is, he is going to leave the country during the summer; they were migrating somewhere in Europe. 

We tried to keep in contact while he was on the other side of the world. We chat regularly, he even called me during his first days there. Then, as time passes by, we slowly slipped away; chatting less, talking less. This went on for a few months, we would rarely talk and if we did, it was just casual hello's and how are you's. It was just so sad.

A year after our little holding hands incident, we decided to stop whatever we have and whatever we are doing; just releasing each other from the commitments we have (if he even considered that as a commitment). So yeah, like normal teenagers, I felt broken. Ha ha. I went on like that for a few months...until I met the guy who later became my first true boyfriend. LOL.

Now, looking back at this story, I could say that that was puppy love. It was some kind of love that young teenagers would want to engage in just to feel what it feels like to have some sort of boyfriend (or girlfriend, for boys... or not. IFYKWIM).

"I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped" (Innocent by Our Lady Peace) 
Sure, up until now, I still remember how those felt. How holding his hand felt, how my head on his shoulders felt, how flirt texting him felt like, how we listen to our favorite songs felt, how I felt coping up when he left the country, how chatting with him after a long time felt, and of course, how heartbroken I felt when we decided it was over. I don't regret feeling these things, in fact, I am happy that I felt all of these. It is a part of me and it makes up who I am. Anyway, all the feelings that I have for him gradually stopped when I started being friends with the guy who later became my boyfriend. :P 

To e, I do hope you are happy now. And I very much like to meet up with you when you get back here and talk about how silly we were back then. I do not feel any romantic feelings for you anymore, but you know, I still care. :)

PS. The lyrics of that song by OLP kinda fits the story, but the actual song doesn't. The song tells a completely different story. Listen to it, it's good. Innocent by Our Lady Peace. :)