dalawang taon na akong nagpaparamdam
tila sobrang manhid mo naman
hindi mo ba ako nakikiTa
o hindi mo lang ako tinitignan
Saturday 26 January 2013
Sunday 13 January 2013
why me
Why do I push away someone who likes me? Why does he like me, anyway? First off, I am not really romantically likeable. I don't have the physical qualities wherein a guy should be attracted to. I am not that pretty nor have the best attitude. I act like a bitch sometimes, and I can get mean, too. Maybe you're wondering why am I focusing on my negative sides rather than the positive ones. Well, those are easier to point out. Next, when someone tells me they like me, I just don't want to believe them anymore. This is because of the first reason, and also because guys are jerks. They let you believe that they like you, then after some time, they're gonna tell you that they were not that serious about it or they just disappear and never have connections with you again. Seriously, I could make a list of guys who did that to me under those two classifications. And during those moments, I am always on the losing end because I believed them. Haha. Stupid. So yeah, I don't know why I made this post. I guess I just want to say these things.
Thursday 3 January 2013
i remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
He was someone I never expected to like, nor fall in "love" with. It just all happened so suddenly when he held my hand and then sparks flew.
Prior to that, we were just friends/classmates. Then on that day, we were huddled in a circle with other friends and reviewing for an exam. We were seated next to each other, our hands brushing a little whenever a slight movement was done. I do not know if that was intentional (by him) or what, but anyway, we ended up holding each other's hands. If my memory doesn't fail me, it was him who initiated it. Of course, as a thirteen-year-old, I was kind of surprised, especially because he was the first guy to hold my hand.
After that incident, we started to become closer friends. He would always sit beside me during breaks and hold hands and do cheesy stuffs. We never kissed, though he kissed me once on the head, and that was it. At that moment, I could say that I "love" him, and vice versa. But damn, we were both thirteen-year-olds, okay? And I didn't consider him as my boyfriend because there was no really formalities among that. Maybe I should ask him now that we are older. Haha. Anyway, all of those things happen a few weeks before the end of classes. And the bad news is, he is going to leave the country during the summer; they were migrating somewhere in Europe.
We tried to keep in contact while he was on the other side of the world. We chat regularly, he even called me during his first days there. Then, as time passes by, we slowly slipped away; chatting less, talking less. This went on for a few months, we would rarely talk and if we did, it was just casual hello's and how are you's. It was just so sad.
A year after our little holding hands incident, we decided to stop whatever we have and whatever we are doing; just releasing each other from the commitments we have (if he even considered that as a commitment). So yeah, like normal teenagers, I felt broken. Ha ha. I went on like that for a few months...until I met the guy who later became my first true boyfriend. LOL.
Now, looking back at this story, I could say that that was puppy love. It was some kind of love that young teenagers would want to engage in just to feel what it feels like to have some sort of boyfriend (or girlfriend, for boys... or not. IFYKWIM).
"I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped" (Innocent by Our Lady Peace)
Sure, up until now, I still remember how those felt. How holding his hand felt, how my head on his shoulders felt, how flirt texting him felt like, how we listen to our favorite songs felt, how I felt coping up when he left the country, how chatting with him after a long time felt, and of course, how heartbroken I felt when we decided it was over. I don't regret feeling these things, in fact, I am happy that I felt all of these. It is a part of me and it makes up who I am. Anyway, all the feelings that I have for him gradually stopped when I started being friends with the guy who later became my boyfriend. :P
To e, I do hope you are happy now. And I very much like to meet up with you when you get back here and talk about how silly we were back then. I do not feel any romantic feelings for you anymore, but you know, I still care. :)
PS. The lyrics of that song by OLP kinda fits the story, but the actual song doesn't. The song tells a completely different story. Listen to it, it's good. Innocent by Our Lady Peace. :)
Prior to that, we were just friends/classmates. Then on that day, we were huddled in a circle with other friends and reviewing for an exam. We were seated next to each other, our hands brushing a little whenever a slight movement was done. I do not know if that was intentional (by him) or what, but anyway, we ended up holding each other's hands. If my memory doesn't fail me, it was him who initiated it. Of course, as a thirteen-year-old, I was kind of surprised, especially because he was the first guy to hold my hand.
After that incident, we started to become closer friends. He would always sit beside me during breaks and hold hands and do cheesy stuffs. We never kissed, though he kissed me once on the head, and that was it. At that moment, I could say that I "love" him, and vice versa. But damn, we were both thirteen-year-olds, okay? And I didn't consider him as my boyfriend because there was no really formalities among that. Maybe I should ask him now that we are older. Haha. Anyway, all of those things happen a few weeks before the end of classes. And the bad news is, he is going to leave the country during the summer; they were migrating somewhere in Europe.
We tried to keep in contact while he was on the other side of the world. We chat regularly, he even called me during his first days there. Then, as time passes by, we slowly slipped away; chatting less, talking less. This went on for a few months, we would rarely talk and if we did, it was just casual hello's and how are you's. It was just so sad.
A year after our little holding hands incident, we decided to stop whatever we have and whatever we are doing; just releasing each other from the commitments we have (if he even considered that as a commitment). So yeah, like normal teenagers, I felt broken. Ha ha. I went on like that for a few months...until I met the guy who later became my first true boyfriend. LOL.
Now, looking back at this story, I could say that that was puppy love. It was some kind of love that young teenagers would want to engage in just to feel what it feels like to have some sort of boyfriend (or girlfriend, for boys... or not. IFYKWIM).
"I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped" (Innocent by Our Lady Peace)
Sure, up until now, I still remember how those felt. How holding his hand felt, how my head on his shoulders felt, how flirt texting him felt like, how we listen to our favorite songs felt, how I felt coping up when he left the country, how chatting with him after a long time felt, and of course, how heartbroken I felt when we decided it was over. I don't regret feeling these things, in fact, I am happy that I felt all of these. It is a part of me and it makes up who I am. Anyway, all the feelings that I have for him gradually stopped when I started being friends with the guy who later became my boyfriend. :P
To e, I do hope you are happy now. And I very much like to meet up with you when you get back here and talk about how silly we were back then. I do not feel any romantic feelings for you anymore, but you know, I still care. :)
PS. The lyrics of that song by OLP kinda fits the story, but the actual song doesn't. The song tells a completely different story. Listen to it, it's good. Innocent by Our Lady Peace. :)
Wednesday 2 January 2013
wills, shoulds and musts for 2013 :)
I am making this list so I could be reminded of the things to do this year :)
1. I must study harder. Always the first one.
2. I must pass all my subjets for the year. Go, go, go. :D
3. I must watch Paramore's concert on February 15. MUST.
4. I should learn how to drive.
5. I should learn how to play the bass or drums.
6. I will make more covers of random songs. LOL.
7. I will listen to new bands.
8. I must fix my iTunes -.-
9. I will sleep early... naaat. jk :))
10. I will try to find a boyfriend. LOL.
11. I should watch Pierce the Veil/Sleeping with Sirens show on February 16. :)
12. I should also watch Smash Project on March 8... kung may matitira pang pera. XD
13. I will try to join an organization... pag sinipag.
14. I must write notes about good things that happens to me this year :)
15. I should save money. The least I could save every week is Php200.
16. I will try to exercise as much as possible :)
17. I must make my requirements ahead of time as much as possible.
18. I will lessen my gala and tambay but still maintain friendships and connections :D
19. I will try to listen to a certain radio station every night.
20. I will ask him for a movie date...again. :D
21. I must say YES to new things (of course, things that would not put me on harm lol)
This list will probably be for my happiness. :D I know there are still lots of things I want to do, but I just couldn't write them down right now. :P
8. I must fix my iTunes -.-
9. I will sleep early... naaat. jk :))
10. I will try to find a boyfriend. LOL.
11. I should watch Pierce the Veil/Sleeping with Sirens show on February 16. :)
12. I should also watch Smash Project on March 8... kung may matitira pang pera. XD
13. I will try to join an organization... pag sinipag.
14. I must write notes about good things that happens to me this year :)
15. I should save money. The least I could save every week is Php200.
16. I will try to exercise as much as possible :)
17. I must make my requirements ahead of time as much as possible.
18. I will lessen my gala and tambay but still maintain friendships and connections :D
19. I will try to listen to a certain radio station every night.
20. I will ask him for a movie date...again. :D
21. I must say YES to new things (of course, things that would not put me on harm lol)
This list will probably be for my happiness. :D I know there are still lots of things I want to do, but I just couldn't write them down right now. :P
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