just life updates after first semester?

....aaand first semester 2014-2015 is officially done. Luckily, I passed all of my subjects and next month, I'm going to start my last semester in college. It's exciting and sad at the same time. I just don't want to face all these adult stuff yet. 

But, my second to the last semester was a blast. ;D This sem was so fun because I get to spend much of it with my close friends and boyfriend and I kinda did well on my subjects. Though I haven't been to any concerts this sem except for Issues show at the start of the semester, it was still a very happy semester. I just love my friends and bf (and my subjects as well). I'm just so stoked to take a rest and chill for this Christmas break. 

And I'm also stoked for 2015 because dang, so many concerts! I'm going to see The 1975 before the semester starts and I'm going to see Ed Sheeran on my birthday! God, life's awesome! ;D

never

late night conversations
2am gentle breeze
caresses your skins

soft laughs
glowing eyes
low murmurs
and meaningful stares

why can't this be us

this could have been us

but it's not.

and it will never be.
i'm not her.
and i will never be.

(is sorry with a comma or not)

sorry, i'm an idiot for letting you slip away.

sorry, i'm too scared to take chances.

sorry, i'm jealous of the fact that you like her now.

sorry, i'm not a thousand times better than she is.

overthinking

it just dawned on me that this will (hopefully) be my last year in college. and several questions sprung out of my beautiful mind. 

"am i ready for this?"

"have i really experienced everything i needed to experience during college?"

"will everything be worth it?" 

"did i miss anything?"

"have i done everything from my imaginary bucket list?" (the answer to this question is, i think, no.)

"will i really graduate?"

"why am i still a lazy ass?"

"did i learn everything i need to learn from my degree?"

"will everything i learned be sufficient to land me a decent job after graduation and passing the board?"

"will i pass the board exams?"

""what happens next?"

"can i face reality?"


i know, i'm overthinking and getting anxious, yet again. but it's the reality that i have to face every single day. every day that passes by, means a step closer to graduation. and i honestly felt like everything i have learned for the past 4 years  up to the present is not enough to prepare me for the rest of my life. yes, i'm just overthinking because fuck studying and upcoming exams.

what a shame, what a shame, we all remain such
fragile
broken 
things

I S S U E S

August 17, 2014. 
Shockwave Supreme Stage! a.k.a the day we saw Issues live in Manila!

One of the best bands I have ever seen live, or should I say the best band so far that I have seen live! They sounded so great and their studio versions sounds almost the same with the live versions, even better! 6/6 are very amazing performers and very nice guys and even though Manila was already their last stop of their Asian tour, they still gave 110% of their energy to the show. I have never been so filled with excitement and enthusiasm and I have never jumped so high before. The Issues guys are so awesome and so is the crowd! 

At around 5:30 PM, the show was started with Faspitch performing their songs to open up for Issues. It was my first time seeing this band live and I have to say they really are good! Love their sound and love their vocals! By then, I realized that I should listen to this band more, and I will. ;)

Faspitch performing last August 17.

By 6:30 PM, the Issues guys got up on the stage. I was so stoked because I can finally hear them play live (and not just at their soundcheck earlier haha). I was extra excited for AJ Rebollo because he was such a nice dude and I can finally hear him play. Then, Issues started playing their first song, Personality Cult, and as soon as the intro started playing, everyone started to move and jump around. And then enter Michael Bohn's powerful screams. The crowd was definitely having a really good time and Tyler Carter also entered the stage and the crowd went wild. Venice Piazza was soaked in fun and sweat as Issues continued their set up to their last song, Hooligans. I remember being in awe at Ty Acord for various reasons and I also remember staring at Sky Acord's hair for some time. And Josh Manuel's beats were so rad!! Haha. 

Issues performing live for the first time in Manila.

Before the guys went back on stage to play their encore, the crowd broke into a "disappear!" chant followed by singing "remember when..." and holy shit, that moment was incredible indeed! Not only was that song was my personal favorite, but the Issues guys came out and Tyler, with his angelic voice, joined in singing with the crowd! It was indeed a magical moment and Issues loved it! (see here and here to know what I'm talking about!) They continued on playing two more songs, Her Monologue, and finally ending up their set with King of Amarillo. 

Michael Bohn during King of Amarillo.

To sum up everything I have said about Issues: IT. WAS. SO. AWESOME. ONE OF THE BEST LIVE BANDS INDEED. Really love this band to bits!

It was really a dream come true to see one of my favorite bands live and props to the crowd for being so fun and energetic. There was so much moshing and circle pits and headbanging and it was the best feeling ever! Furthermore, I got to spend the day with my love and meet up with my twitter friends! <3 

Thank you so much Sonic Boom for making this gig possible!! Your gigs definitely don't suck! And of course thank you also to Faspitch for a good show! And last but definitely not the least, a huge thank you to Issues for giving us a memorable night! 

I made sure how I lived that moment was worth every breath! (and sweat lol) ;)

---
If you want to hear a live recording of Issues' Love Sex Riot, CLICK HERE! You'll hear that they sound exactly the same as their studio version, even better 'cause it's live and with a live (moshing) audience! 

aaaand if you want to watch a live video of Issues' Life Of A Nine on my perspective (hahaha) feel free to CLICK HERE :)

--

i'm not supposed to miss you.
i'm not
i'm not
i'm not
but i miss you.

05.30.14 23.25

i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was fine
i thought i was 

rage shit bc of you

you built a fence around yourself and started to burn every single bridge, now tell me, how am i supposed to reach out to you?
it feels like we're not worthy of each others' time anymore and probably it's better off that way. if you don't care, then i don't care. i'm sick of pretending that everything's fine between us. the plain thought of you makes me want to vomit. what you do behind my back makes me vomit. now, go ahead and throw every memory. it's practically useless now, is it? how long can you hide behind those goody-goody shoes? it's pathetic. i think it's time for me to turn around now and head over the other direction. i'm sick of walking beside you. or behind you. i'm sick of tagging along, trying still to fit in your world. i'm not meant for this shit. if this is what you call a "friend", then i'd rather not have one like you.

10 days so far

A VERY RANDOM LIST ON WHAT I'VE LEARNED SO FAR FROM MY FIRST 10 DAYS* OF PRACTICUM/OJT.

1. I cuss too much. 
2. The actual stuff is waaay different than the theoretical.
3. How to interact with "adults".
4. Laundry. Mahirap maglaba ng pants.
5. Never ride a van alone. 
6. Delata festival.
7. Pakikisama sa amoy tuwing gabi .-.
8. Pag sinabing wala ng jeep pag dating ng 7PM, wala na talagang jeep.
9. How to live without a mirror.
10. How to overcome scary noises at night.
11. Walang night life ang mga nakatira sa compound. Dapat by 10PM tulog na """"daw"""". LOL
12. How to eat fish. Ng naka-kamay :(((( sorry na pls maarte ako haha :D
13. Bagoong/alamang is truly really delicious with mangga.
14. The joy of titration.
15. I really cuss too much.
16. Okay lang hindi maligo pagpapasok. (pero wala akong balak i-try)
17. Appreciation ng course ko :---)
18. Mahirap mamalengke at magbudget. Haha.
19. How to properly apply downy.
20. Kaya ko pala mabuhay ng walang internet. Huzzah.
21. Self control.
22. Magtipid.
23. Kailangan makisama at tawanan ang mga nagjojoke kahit corny. You're all they've got. :))))
24. Nakakainlove pala ang tunog ng mga makina. Hihihi.
25. Other academic stuff.
26. Wag masyado magpuyat dahil maaga pa ang pasok kinabukasan.
27. One day of rest day is not enough. :----(
28. How to find fun in everything you do :D


*includes weekends and holidays

sucks

it sucks that i can't be with him on our 1st year together. *insert crying face*
but hey, we'll find ways. it just really sucks to not be with him on that day. and i'm just ecstatic 'cause i thought i'd be stuck with the 11-month curse, but hey, i did'nt and i'm not! c:


on another note, it still sucks though because it's summer and i'll be probably living an internet-less life this april 'til may. gdi. okay, maybe not really internet-less but my average daily internet usage would be almost 75% less than the usual and i'm not quite happy about it. boo. jk. this practicum/ojt would be fun!


~*oUt*~

MAYDAY PARADE! (March 8, 2014 -- part 2)

MARCH 8, 2014. MAYDAY PARADE'S SET STARTED AROUND 8:30 PM. You could definitely hear the crowd roar as the guys enter the stage and Derek sings "There's a ghost in my bedroom, it haunts me at night". You could feel the enthusiasm of every single person on the venue through the various screams and voices singing along to Mayday Parade's Ghosts. Yung tipong after ng first song, sulit na sulit na agad.

Words are not enough to express how overwhelmed I was after the first song, because their live performance absolutely exceeded my expectations. The set continues with Jamie All Over, where I was jumping throughout the entire song. Then they played When You See My Friends, Your Song, 12 Through 15 and You Be The Anchor. 

I would like to commend the lighting during You Be The Anchor because the movement of the lights definitely suited the feel of the song. I don't know about you, but I was really in awe during that song because of the pretty lights.

Mayday Parade playing You Be The Anchor.
(and probably my only good photo during the set)

Then, Mayday Parade went back to playing upbeat songs with Girls and Black Cat. The crowd went wild and was obviously having an amazing time! After those two songs, Derek played two songs on the piano -- Miserable At Best and Stay. The moment was divine during Miserable At Best. The crowd singing along with Derek and Jake sounded so perfect. See it for yourself, check out the video of Miserable At Best that I posted on Youtube. Stay was another song that made me feel so emotional. I never thought it would be this emotional when I hear it live.

The next songs were Hold Onto Me, Kids In Love (which I greatly love), Three Cheers For Five Years, and Oh Well, Oh Well. Everyone was so energetic and crazy and my bf and I were having the time of our lives! Their last song was Jersey, which was one of my favorite Mayday Parade songs. I love the energy the band and the crowd gave off as everyone rocked the Skydome during their last song! They went back to play an encore song which was I'd Hate To Be You... and the crowd just sang along, swayed their hands up in the air and felt the entire song which was absolutely beautiful. The set ended by 10PM and everything in that 1 hour and 30 minutes with Mayday Parade was beyond perfect.

It was a very breathtaking set, literally and figuratively. Haha. For my first Mayday Parade concert, this one was amazing. Derek's and Jake's voice were heavenly as well as Jeremy's (who did the backing up vocals). Alex and Brooks were very talented guitarists and I really appreciated them more during their live performance! All of them are exceptional artists, and after seeing them live, my love for them just increased a thousandfold. It is an understatement to say that "Mayday Parade is great and awesome live!". They are definitely more than that. And I would love to see them live again some time soon. :) Thanks PULP for bringing them here!

March 8, 2014 -- Part 1

I know I have to make this post before March ends (haha), so here goes...


As a birthday gift to myself and a pre-anniversary date for me and Ping, we went to see Mayday Parade at Skydome last March 8, 2014. 

The day started out definitely well. I woke up feeling excited since it was a special day, plus, I would meet a some of BForce and twitter friends. My LB friends (Roee, Quennie and Mckaye, with Mckaye's dad) picked me up at 10:30AM and we all went together to SM North Edsa. It was around an hour drive to get there. When we arrived, we went to Skydome so my other friends could get their Pulp Royalty (PR) IDs and then, we ate lunch at Kenny Rogers.

Mckaye and I at Kenny Rogers.

We still had a lot of time to kill before the actual show so we strolled around the mall and went to some random stores. (Around this time, I also asked Roee to buy a Mayday shirt for me. LOL) Mckaye and I went to see Ced on the line for PR. We had a little conversation and this photo happened. Haha. 

With Mckaye and Ced.

I also met up with Athena and we were glad to finally see each other. :) I also saw Des but it was only for a short while. I didn't get the chance to have a photo with Des, though. 

Around 3PM, Ping was already at the venue and we started to line up for the Bleachers section. I met Atari for a while during that time and damn, she sure is tall. .-. Haha ;)

By 4PM, the guards(?) at the venue asked us to line up downstairs, and so we did. We were kind of at the front of the line. And then, Mckaye tested out her camera on Ping and I and this is one of the resulting shots. LOL.

Ha. :p

We were just chilling in line 'til I got a lot of missed call from Mones and when I finally got to talk to her on the phone, she asked where I was and that they were going to meet me. Sure enough, after a few minutes, I finally met them! At long last, I finally got to see Mones, Jade, Atari, and Shane and other people c; Such pretty girls, I must say. There were obviously a lot of hugs and photos but here's some of them.

#MONEU :p

#JADELU :p

We waited for three more hours to finally enter the venue. Before 8PM, we were already inside the venue and from the bleachers, I went and say hi to Mones and others who were on the VIP area. I kinda grabbed this photo from where Mones mentioned me. Haha.

AND FINALLY, AROUND 8:30 PM, MAYDAY PARADE'S SET STARTED. Everyone at Skydome was definitely ecstatic as Mayday Parade put on a great show for us! I had a lot of fun during their set -- I was singing and jumping around and taking videos and photos. I even managed to put up a phone concert for Jezel and Patty. Hahaha. Derek's and Jake's voice were heavenly as well as Jeremy's (who did the backing up vocals). Alex and Brooks were very talented guitarists and I really appreciated them more during their live performance! 
(For my detailed Mayday Parade's concert experience (slash review), click here. c:)

The set ended by 10PM and I was exhausted yet so overwhelmed. I gave myself a pat on the back for giving myself the best birthday gift! And this was not bad at all for a concert date with my boyfriend. We hung out for a while in the Bleachers section and just as we were about to leave, I caught up with Athena (who was going to the bleachers to sit for a while) and I got a photo with her. :)

With Athena after Mayday's set :)

Mckaye, Roee, Quennie and I finally head home but we stopped over at a Jollibee store along SLEX to eat dinner. Haha. And after a long, fun and very fulfilling day, I finally got home. And with that, I could say March 8, 2014 is and will always be a special day! 

Many thanks to PULP for bringing Mayday Parade in Manila, to Mayday Parade for putting up an amazing show I'll always remember, and to everyone I spent the day with for all the fun moments we had. This was one of the best birthdays I had (even though my birthday was 4 days later, haha) :)

fly

don't let yourself get limited by the people surrounding you. 
break free. explore. make new memories. 
there are a lot of things to know, a lot of people to meet, and a lot of adventures to experience.

just don't forget to look back once in a while. :-)

don't get drunk on a monday.

the post title says it all. just don't. especially if you're up for a busy week. the headaches will haunt you unless you get enough sleep (which in my case, sleep did not happen)

furthermore, your poor soul will suffer. just kidding.

Feb Fair 2014

This past week was UPLB's annual Feb Fair :D It was a hell lot of fun, probably because I went to the fair four days straight, from Tuesday up to Friday (and still regret missing Saturday night though). It was tiring but it was the fun kind of tired. Ha.

Tuesday night was the first day of the fair. The fair wasn't that crowded yet so I was ecstatic. Haha. I was with my boyfriend, Ping, because I'm a clingy girlfriend. We went to a photobooth to have our pictures taken (plus free ice cream lol)

:D

Later on, we met up with some of his friends. We rode the ferris wheel and  there were no lines at all! Haha. It was my first time to ride that damn thing because I'm not really a fan of such rides and a lot of screaming and cursing happened. Well shit, it was against my will, haha, but it was actually quite fun. We also watched the finals of Rockengroll(?), CEAT-based battle of the bands, and the bands were great. :) I haven't watched the last band though because I have to leave so I could study for an exam for the next day. Boohoo.

The second night I went to the fair was just as rad as the first day. It was dedicated to eating and watching bands performing on Class Distraction, another battle of the bands. The bands were great, as usual. And it just shows how talented the homegrown bands are. :)

The next night, I was already tired. Hahaha. I was so tired I couldn't remember much about what happened but I'm 90% sure it was walking around everywhere. LOL.

Friday night (aka the fourth night; Valentines night) was the day I enjoyed the most. Despite the huge volume of people gathered at Freedom Park, I still managed to have a good time. My boyfriend and I got to meet up with his friend and his friend's girlfriend and we watched some bands perform (Penguin and Giniling Festival). We were at the side of the stage. LOL

Giniling Festival at UPLB Feb Fair 2014

After that, I met up with Jezel and Julie and then we went to look for Chin. When we met her, it was funny because she failed my expectations. Hahaha. Then, Faye went to meet us too and then the following photo happened.

Faye, Jezel, me :D, Chin. photo taken by Julie.

We went to another photobooth and booths and hung out 'til 12. I had fun hanging out with them, really. :D Kahit pekpek si Chin :)

At the end of the week I was freakin exhausted and I just wanted a decent sleep but nope. Acads will forever haunt me and I just can't escape. But hey, this was probably my most memorable Feb Fair by far, thanks to all the people that I've hung out with and of course, my clingy boyfriend.

soon

A month from now, we're gonna see Mayday Parade! This will be our (my bf and I) birthday treat for ourselves and our pre-anniversary date. Plus, this would be an excellent escape from all the school shits that would happen on March. Haha. Idk but I'm weirdly excited about it. :-) 

Mayday Parade. March 8, 2014. SM Skydome. :)

Fullmetal Alchemist

Having my early teens spent on anime and manga, I have revisited my "Fullmetal Alchemist days". But during that time, I have only watched the first version of the anime and have read the manga. Well, 5 years later (a.k.a. now), I was just done watching the second version of the anime, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, which was purely based on the manga. This anime never ceases to amaze me in many ways even though I have been familiar with how the story goes. As nerdy as it sounds, I was truly fascinated with the chemistry (no matter how fictional it gets). Why the hell do you think I chose a chemistry-based degree program for college? 

Fullmetal Alchemist will always be my all-time favorite anime because of its interesting plot and the complexity of its characters. :-)

stop being so full of yourself

allow me to go straight to the point...

THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.

actually, it revolves around the sun.

well, maybe your world revolves around you. but please, stop implying that my world should revolve around yours, too (or other people's for that matter). 

stop telling the world about every single thing you do. we don't need that much information. stop hinting that you are better than most of us. wake up, kid, we all know you're not. stop bragging about riches you have right now (oh, technically, they aren't yours btw). one day, you just might lose it all. stay quiet. lower your pride. don't think too highly of yourself. be sensitive.

and please, stop being so full of yourself.

Frozen

With regards to my blog title, I may or may not be talking about the weather. But hey, let me talk about it anyway. For the past two weeks, it has been fucking cold -- a lot colder than the usual January weather. Every morning, it feels like waking up in Baguio. It's good, because I don't need to use the electric fan anymore, thus saving up some electricity. However, it is bad, because it's  t o r t u r e  to take a bath every morning and it's making me less productive. Pretty cool weather, though. It's kind of fun to have three layers of clothing every night.


Now I'm really here to talk about the Disney movie, Frozen. I've seen the trailer of this movie last November and from the trailer, I felt that this would be awesome because I thought i was not the usual plot (love stories and princesses shit). I have just seen it last night (I know, I suck, sorry) because I've been pretty busy these past few weeks. And holy shit, that movie was rad!!! Well, sure, there was still a love story and princesses in the movie but the actual story does not revolve around it. The film was well-created and the animation was fucking amazing. Plus, all those singing parts by the characters made the movie alive. For me, the best one was where Elsa (voiced by Idina Menzel) sang Let It Go and exhibited her ice powers and it was breathtaking. Damn, I regret not watching this movie earlier in the theater. If you haven't watched Frozen yet, I'm telling you, you should.

temporary bliss

These past few weeks (after the January 6 incident), I've been busy elated. :-) Sure, the anxiety and stress will always be there, but these things are under control now. I still get frustrated at times but I try to battle them out. I won't get anywhere with freaking out at every little thing so I try my hardest to not do this. I distract myself to avoid getting anxious and hey, I guess it's a mind over matter kind of thing, I could actually do it. In fact, this January was a whole lot better than last year. :-)

Acads-wise, I don't know. It's a mixture of a little bit fucked up and okay. Hope this semester will bring good news in the end, though :-) 

Moreover, today (January 25th) marks the 5th month since the Bazooka Rocks Festival. Feels all over again. Haha. 

I just had the free time to write a post this week because I have no upcoming exams the next week :)

what even

whatever fucking happened to january 6. i do not know. i just wanna be happy. 

idonthaveanappropriatetitleforthispost

sometimes, you have to admit to yourself that you are not okay; that you are not happy. the next thing to do now is, find what the problem is.

i'm sick of pretending that everything's all right. i know it isn't. something isn't. and what frustrates me is that i don't know what that is. maybe i do know deep inside, i just don't want myself to know what that is. i know, it's confusing, and i hate it. i hate how i feel every negative emotion every time i'm alone. i hate how i breakdown when no one is around. i hate how this table i'm using turns into a pool of tears. i'm honestly sick of feeling this way. i have no idea what to do, or where to go from here. i want to convince myself that i am happy, but these tears at the end of the day tell me that i'm not.