rage shit bc of you

you built a fence around yourself and started to burn every single bridge, now tell me, how am i supposed to reach out to you?
it feels like we're not worthy of each others' time anymore and probably it's better off that way. if you don't care, then i don't care. i'm sick of pretending that everything's fine between us. the plain thought of you makes me want to vomit. what you do behind my back makes me vomit. now, go ahead and throw every memory. it's practically useless now, is it? how long can you hide behind those goody-goody shoes? it's pathetic. i think it's time for me to turn around now and head over the other direction. i'm sick of walking beside you. or behind you. i'm sick of tagging along, trying still to fit in your world. i'm not meant for this shit. if this is what you call a "friend", then i'd rather not have one like you.

12/9/13

i hate being alone
i hate being left alone with my thoughts
i hate that im crying myself to sleep at night
i hate that i keep the light turned on at night
i hate how my body tenses up when i feel alone
i hate when those bad memories haunt me when im alone
i hate how i become so weak
i hate how fear has taken over me
i hate that i could not save myself
i hate that nothing could save me right now
i hate how i get paranoid about the smallest things
i hate every negative emotion that i have
i hate that im crying right now
i hate that i dont see any living thing within the corners of my room
i hate that i have no one to talk to right now
i hate how i fear that my friends dont want to talk to me
i hate that i think about those things
i hate that i feel so alone
i hate these feelings
i hate myself
i hate