Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass (that's been on the bed for a week)

Why am I not feeling so Christmasy? I don't know -- maybe it's because I've spent a week sitting my butt off, browsing through some random pages on the internet, listening to different bands, and fangirling over their stuff. I know, I should feel the holiday spirit, but nope, the spirit does not dwell within me. Maybe it's also due to my environment that does not really look like the holidays, or I just really enjoy wasting my time. I could've been productive, but I chose not to. Oh wait, I've done a little cooking last week but that was it. I could literally hear my bed screaming, "GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT". But hey, I guess I have a one-sided relationship with my bed now. And yep, this is a totally unrelated blabbering about the holidays. 

Merry Christmas, anyway. Hope you're enjoying the holidays! ;-)



PS. Full Frontal tomorrow, bitchez. (around 7am, Dec 24. Philippine time)

SOS

Help yourself.

No one can help you better than yourself.

Stand firmly on the ground and help yourself up.

You can't break down if you know how to stand up.

Surround yourself with good people.

Dispose the bad ones.

Learn from them.

Words won't kill you.

Running away will.

And giving up won't be an option.

Pain will always be temporary.

Better days will come.

Life is a battle.

You just have to find out how to win.

And no one can help you win but yourself.

sooo...

religion is not something you shove down on other people's throats. it should come naturally, when the heart is ready. 

on second thought, religion is not actually important. your relationship with God is.

12/9/13

i hate being alone
i hate being left alone with my thoughts
i hate that im crying myself to sleep at night
i hate that i keep the light turned on at night
i hate how my body tenses up when i feel alone
i hate when those bad memories haunt me when im alone
i hate how i become so weak
i hate how fear has taken over me
i hate that i could not save myself
i hate that nothing could save me right now
i hate how i get paranoid about the smallest things
i hate every negative emotion that i have
i hate that im crying right now
i hate that i dont see any living thing within the corners of my room
i hate that i have no one to talk to right now
i hate how i fear that my friends dont want to talk to me
i hate that i think about those things
i hate that i feel so alone
i hate these feelings
i hate myself
i hate

never was

wasting moments, wishes and dreams

that never came true.

it was a never was,

a never have been,

a never in a thousand lifetimes.

what a shame,

we could have rainbows

and happiness.

but we choose to ignore

every chance

we could have taken.